Distraction - Kofi Anan saved by the lifeguard's whistle

The "Oil for Food" corruption scandal involving my son.
Sudan and the massacre of millions on my watch and in my backyard.
Cowardly flight from Iraq, and no assistance in the upcoming vote.
My consistent history of talk, inaction, graft, complicity, and coddling of tyrants "who I can do business with".

As Secretarty General of the UN, I would like to thank the Almighty for this tsunami, and the 300,000 reasons people are looking at me like I am somebody important and honorable again.

Amen.